Gulliver's Travels
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, LUGGNAGG,
GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN.
He desired I would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as far asunder as I conveniently could. He then commanded his general (who was an old experienced leader, and a great patron of mine) to draw up the troops in close order, and march them under me; the foot by twenty-four abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with drums beating, colours flying, and pikes advanced.
by Jonathan Swift
Illustrated By J. J. Grandville
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PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, LUGGNAGG,
GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN.
CHAPTER I.
[The author sets out on his third voyage. Is taken by pirates.
The malice of a Dutchman. His arrival at an island. He is
received into Laputa.]
I had not been at home above ten days, when Captain William
Robinson, a Cornish man, commander of the Hopewell, a stout ship
of three hundred tons, came to my house. I had formerly been
surgeon of another ship where he was master, and a fourth part
owner, in a voyage to the Levant. He had always treated me more
like a brother, than an inferior officer; and, hearing of my
arrival, made me a visit, as I apprehended only out of
friendship, for nothing passed more than what is usual after long
absences. But repeating his visits often, expressing his joy to
find I me in good health, asking, "whether I were now settled for
life?" adding, "that he intended a voyage to the East Indies in
two months," at last he plainly invited me, though with some
apologies, to be surgeon of the ship; "that I should have another
surgeon under me, beside our two mates; that my salary should be
double to the usual pay; and that having experienced my knowledge
in sea-affairs to be at least equal to his, he would enter into
any engagement to follow my advice, as much as if I had shared in
the command."
He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so
honest a man, that I could not reject this proposal; the thirst I
had of seeing the world, notwithstanding my past misfortunes,
continuing as violent as ever. The only difficulty that
remained, was to persuade my wife, whose consent however I at
last obtained, by the prospect of advantage she proposed to her
children.
We set out the 5th day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St.
George the 11th of April, 1707. We staid there three weeks to
refresh our crew, many of whom were sick. From thence we went to
Tonquin, where the captain resolved to continue some time,
because many of the goods he intended to buy were not ready, nor
could he expect to be dispatched in several months. Therefore,
in hopes to defray some of the charges he must be at, he bought a
sloop, loaded it with several sorts of goods, wherewith the
Tonquinese usually trade to the neighbouring islands, and putting
fourteen men on board, whereof three were of the country, he
appointed me master of the sloop, and gave me power to traffic,
while he transacted his affairs at Tonquin.
We had not sailed above three days, when a great storm arising,
we were driven five days to the north-north-east, and then to the
east: after which we had fair weather, but still with a pretty
strong gale from the west. Upon the tenth day we were chased by
two pirates, who soon overtook us; for my sloop was so deep
laden, that she sailed very slow, neither were we in a condition
to defend ourselves.
We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who
entered furiously at the head of their men; but finding us all
prostrate upon our faces (for so I gave order), they pinioned us
with strong ropes, and setting guard upon us, went to search the
sloop.
I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some
authority, though he was not commander of either ship. He knew
us by our countenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in
his own language, swore we should be tied back to back and thrown
into the sea. I spoken Dutch tolerably well; I told him who we
were, and begged him, in consideration of our being Christians
and Protestants, of neighbouring countries in strict alliance,
that he would move the captains to take some pity on us. This
inflamed his rage; he repeated his threatenings, and turning to
his companions, spoke with great vehemence in the Japanese
language, as I suppose, often using the word CHRISTIANOS.
The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese
captain, who spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came
up to me, and after several questions, which I answered in great
humility, he said, "we should not die." I made the captain a
very low bow, and then, turning to the Dutchman, said, "I was
sorry to find more mercy in a heathen, than in a brother
christian." But I had soon reason to repent those foolish words:
for that malicious reprobate, having often endeavoured in vain to
persuade both the captains that I might be thrown into the sea
(which they would not yield to, after the promise made me that I
should not die), however, prevailed so far, as to have a
punishment inflicted on me, worse, in all human appearance, than
death itself. My men were sent by an equal division into both
the pirate ships, and my sloop new manned. As to myself, it was
determined that I should be set adrift in a small canoe, with
paddles and a sail, and four days' provisions; which last, the
Japanese captain was so kind to double out of his own stores, and
would permit no man to search me. I got down into the canoe,
while the Dutchman, standing upon the deck, loaded me with all
the curses and injurious terms his language could afford.
About an hour before we saw the pirates I had taken an
observation, and found we were in the latitude of 46 N. and
longitude of 183. When I was at some distance from the pirates, I
discovered, by my pocket-glass, several islands to the
south-east. I set up my sail, the wind being fair, with a design
to reach the nearest of those islands, which I made a shift to
do, in about three hours. It was all rocky: however I got many
birds' eggs; and, striking fire, I kindled some heath and dry
sea-weed, by which I roasted my eggs. I ate no other supper,
being resolved to spare my provisions as much as I could. I
passed the night under the shelter of a rock, strewing some heath
under me, and slept pretty well.
The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third
and fourth, sometimes using my sail, and sometimes my paddles.
But, not to trouble the reader with a particular account of my
distresses, let it suffice, that on the fifth day I arrived at
the last island in my sight, which lay south-south-east to the
former.
This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did
not reach it in less than five hours. I encompassed it almost
round, before I could find a convenient place to land in; which
was a small creek, about three times the wideness of my canoe. I
found the island to be all rocky, only a little intermingled with
tufts of grass, and sweet-smelling herbs. I took out my small
provisions and after having refreshed myself, I secured the
remainder in a cave, whereof there were great numbers; I gathered
plenty of eggs upon the rocks, and got a quantity of dry
sea-weed, and parched grass, which I designed to kindle the next
day, and roast my eggs as well as I could, for I had about me my
flint, steel, match, and burning-glass. I lay all night in the
cave where I had lodged my provisions. My bed was the same dry
grass and sea-weed which I intended for fuel. I slept very
little, for the disquiets of my mind prevailed over my weariness,
and kept me awake. I considered how impossible it was to
preserve my life in so desolate a place, and how miserable my end
must be: yet found myself so listless and desponding, that I had
not the heart to rise; and before I could get spirits enough to
creep out of my cave, the day was far advanced. I walked awhile
among the rocks: the sky was perfectly clear, and the sun so
hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it: when all on a
sudden it became obscure, as I thought, in a manner very
different from what happens by the interposition of a cloud. I
turned back, and perceived a vast opaque body between me and the
sun moving forwards towards the island: it seemed to be about
two miles high, and hid the sun six or seven minutes; but I did
not observe the air to be much colder, or the sky more darkened,
than if I had stood under the shade of a mountain. As it
approached nearer over the place where I was, it appeared to be a
firm substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright,
from the reflection of the sea below. I stood upon a height
about two hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast body
descending almost to a parallel with me, at less than an English
mile distance. I took out my pocket perspective, and could
plainly discover numbers of people moving up and down the sides
of it, which appeared to be sloping; but what those people where
doing I was not able to distinguish.
The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy, and I
was ready to entertain a hope that this adventure might, some way
or other, help to deliver me from the desolate place and
condition I was in. But at the same time the reader can hardly
conceive my astonishment, to behold an island in the air,
inhabited by men, who were able (as it should seem) to raise or
sink, or put it into progressive motion, as they pleased. But
not being at that time in a disposition to philosophise upon this
phenomenon, I rather chose to observe what course the island
would take, because it seemed for awhile to stand still. Yet
soon after, it advanced nearer, and I could see the sides of it
encompassed with several gradations of galleries, and stairs, at
certain intervals, to descend from one to the other. In the
lowest gallery, I beheld some people fishing with long angling
rods, and others looking on. I waved my cap (for my hat was long
since worn out) and my handkerchief toward the island; and upon
its nearer approach, I called and shouted with the utmost
strength of my voice; and then looking circumspectly, I beheld a
crowd gather to that side which was most in my view. I found by
their pointing towards me and to each other, that they plainly
discovered me, although they made no return to my shouting. But I
could see four or five men running in great haste, up the stairs,
to the top of the island, who then disappeared. I happened
rightly to conjecture, that these were sent for orders to some
person in authority upon this occasion.
The number of people increased, and, in less than half all hour,
the island was moved and raised in such a manner, that the lowest
gallery appeared in a parallel of less then a hundred yards
distance from the height where I stood. I then put myself in the
most supplicating posture, and spoke in the humblest accent, but
received no answer. Those who stood nearest over against me,
seemed to be persons of distinction, as I supposed by their
habit. They conferred earnestly with each other, looking often
upon me. At length one of them called out in a clear, polite,
smooth dialect, not unlike in sound to the Italian: and
therefore I returned an answer in that language, hoping at least
that the cadence might be more agreeable to his ears. Although
neither of us understood the other, yet my meaning was easily
known, for the people saw the distress I was in.
They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and go towards
the shore, which I accordingly did; and the flying island being
raised to a convenient height, the verge directly over me, a
chain was let down from the lowest gallery, with a seat fastened
to the bottom, to which I fixed myself, and was drawn up by
pulleys.
CHAPTER II.
[The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An
account of their learning. Of the king and his court. The
author's reception there. The inhabitants subject to fear and
disquietudes. An account of the women.]
Ay my alighting, I was surrounded with a crowd of people, but
those who stood nearest seemed to be of better quality. They
beheld me with all the marks and circumstances of wonder; neither
indeed was I much in their debt, having never till then seen a
race of mortals so singular in their shapes, habits, and
countenances. Their heads were all reclined, either to the
right, or the left; one of their eyes turned inward, and the
other directly up to the zenith. Their outward garments were
adorned with the figures of suns, moons, and stars; interwoven
with those of fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars,
harpsichords, and many other instruments of music, unknown to us
in Europe. I observed, here and there, many in the habit of
servants, with a blown bladder, fastened like a flail to the end
of a stick, which they carried in their hands. In each bladder
was a small quantity of dried peas, or little pebbles, as I was
afterwards informed. With these bladders, they now and then
flapped the mouths and ears of those who stood near them, of
which practice I could not then conceive the meaning. It seems
the minds of these people are so taken up with intense
speculations, that they neither can speak, nor attend to the
discourses of others, without being roused by some external
taction upon the organs of speech and hearing; for which reason,
those persons who are able to afford it always keep a flapper
(the original is CLIMENOLE) in their family, as one of their
domestics; nor ever walk abroad, or make visits, without him.
And the business of this officer is, when two, three, or more
persons are in company, gently to strike with his bladder the
mouth of him who is to speak, and the right ear of him or them to
whom the speaker addresses himself. This flapper is likewise
employed diligently to attend his master in his walks, and upon
occasion to give him a soft flap on his eyes; because he is
always so wrapped up in cogitation, that he is in manifest danger
of falling down every precipice, and bouncing his head against
every post; and in the streets, of justling others, or being
justled himself into the kennel.
It was necessary to give the reader this information, without
which he would be at the same loss with me to understand the
proceedings of these people, as they conducted me up the stairs
to the top of the island, and from thence to the royal palace.
While we were ascending, they forgot several times what they were
about, and left me to myself, till their memories were again
roused by their flappers; for they appeared altogether unmoved by
the sight of my foreign habit and countenance, and by the shouts
of the vulgar, whose thoughts and minds were more disengaged.
At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the chamber of
presence, where I saw the king seated on his throne, attended on
each side by persons of prime quality. Before the throne, was a
large table filled with globes and spheres, and mathematical
instruments of all kinds. His majesty took not the least notice
of us, although our entrance was not without sufficient noise, by
the concourse of all persons belonging to the court. But he was
then deep in a problem; and we attended at least an hour, before
he could solve it. There stood by him, on each side, a young
page with flaps in their hands, and when they saw he was at
leisure, one of them gently struck his mouth, and the other his
right ear; at which he startled like one awaked on the sudden,
and looking towards me and the company I was in, recollected the
occasion of our coming, whereof he had been informed before. He
spoke some words, whereupon immediately a young man with a flap
came up to my side, and flapped me gently on the right ear; but I
made signs, as well as I could, that I had no occasion for such
an instrument; which, as I afterwards found, gave his majesty,
and the whole court, a very mean opinion of my understanding.
The king, as far as I could conjecture, asked me several
questions, and I addressed myself to him in all the languages I
had. When it was found I could neither understand nor be
understood, I was conducted by his order to an apartment in his
palace (this prince being distinguished above all his
predecessors for his hospitality to strangers), where two
servants were appointed to attend me. My dinner was brought, and
four persons of quality, whom I remembered to have seen very near
the king's person, did me the honour to dine with me. We had two
courses, of three dishes each. In the first course, there was a
shoulder of mutton cut into an equilateral triangle, a piece of
beef into a rhomboides, and a pudding into a cycloid. The second
course was two ducks trussed up in the form of fiddles; sausages
and puddings resembling flutes and hautboys, and a breast of veal
in the shape of a harp. The servants cut our bread into cones,
cylinders, parallelograms, and several other mathematical
figures.
While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names of several
things in their language, and those noble persons, by the
assistance of their flappers, delighted to give me answers,
hoping to raise my admiration of their great abilities if I could
be brought to converse with them. I was soon able to call for
bread and drink, or whatever else I wanted.
After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent to me by
the king's order, attended by a flapper. He brought with him
pen, ink, and paper, and three or four books, giving me to
understand by signs, that he was sent to teach me the language.
We sat together four hours, in which time I wrote down a great
number of words in columns, with the translations over against
them; I likewise made a shift to learn several short sentences;
for my tutor would order one of my servants to fetch something,
to turn about, to make a bow, to sit, or to stand, or walk, and
the like. Then I took down the sentence in writing. He showed
me also, in one of his books, the figures of the sun, moon, and
stars, the zodiac, the tropics, and polar circles, together with
the denominations of many plains and solids. He gave me the
names and descriptions of all the musical instruments, and the
general terms of art in playing on each of them. After he had
left me, I placed all my words, with their interpretations, in
alphabetical order. And thus, in a few days, by the help of a
very faithful memory, I got some insight into their language.
The word, which I interpret the flying or floating island, is in
the original LAPUTA, whereof I could never learn the true
etymology. LAP, in the old obsolete language, signifies high;
and UNTUH, a governor; from which they say, by corruption, was
derived LAPUTA, from LAPUNTUH. But I do not approve of this
derivation, which seems to be a little strained. I ventured to
offer to the learned among them a conjecture of my own, that
Laputa was QUASI LAP OUTED; LAP, signifying properly, the dancing
of the sunbeams in the sea, and OUTED, a wing; which, however, I
shall not obtrude, but submit to the judicious reader.
Those to whom the king had entrusted me, observing how ill I was
clad, ordered a tailor to come next morning, and take measure for
a suit of clothes. This operator did his office after a
different manner from those of his trade in Europe. He first
took my altitude by a quadrant, and then, with a rule and
compasses, described the dimensions and outlines of my whole
body, all which he entered upon paper; and in six days brought my
clothes very ill made, and quite out of shape, by happening to
mistake a figure in the calculation. But my comfort was, that I
observed such accidents very frequent, and little regarded.
During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an
indisposition that held me some days longer, I much enlarged my
dictionary; and when I went next to court, was able to understand
many things the king spoke, and to return him some kind of
answers. His majesty had given orders, that the island should
move north-east and by east, to the vertical point over Lagado,
the metropolis of the whole kingdom below, upon the firm earth.
It was about ninety leagues distant, and our voyage lasted four
days and a half. I was not in the least sensible of the
progressive motion made in the air by the island. On the second
morning, about eleven o'clock, the king himself in person,
attended by his nobility, courtiers, and officers, having
prepared all their musical instruments, played on them for three
hours without intermission, so that I was quite stunned with the
noise; neither could I possibly guess the meaning, till my tutor
informed me. He said that, the people of their island had their
ears adapted to hear "the music of the spheres, which always
played at certain periods, and the court was now prepared to bear
their part, in whatever instrument they most excelled."
In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his majesty
ordered that the island should stop over certain towns and
villages, from whence he might receive the petitions of his
subjects. And to this purpose, several packthreads were let
down, with small weights at the bottom. On these packthreads the
people strung their petitions, which mounted up directly, like
the scraps of paper fastened by school boys at the end of the
string that holds their kite. Sometimes we received wine and
victuals from below, which were drawn up by pulleys.
The knowledge I had in mathematics, gave me great assistance in
acquiring their phraseology, which depended much upon that
science, and music; and in the latter I was not unskilled. Their
ideas are perpetually conversant in lines and figures. If they
would, for example, praise the beauty of a woman, or any other
animal, they describe it by rhombs, circles, parallelograms,
ellipses, and other geometrical terms, or by words of art drawn
from music, needless here to repeat. I observed in the king's
kitchen all sorts of mathematical and musical instruments, after
the figures of which they cut up the joints that were served to
his majesty's table.
Their houses are very ill built, the walls bevil, without one
right angle in any apartment; and this defect arises from the
contempt they bear to practical geometry, which they despise as
vulgar and mechanic; those instructions they give being too
refined for the intellects of their workmen, which occasions
perpetual mistakes. And although they are dexterous enough upon a
piece of paper, in the management of the rule, the pencil, and
the divider, yet in the common actions and behaviour of life, I
have not seen a more clumsy, awkward, and unhandy people, nor so
slow and perplexed in their conceptions upon all other subjects,
except those of mathematics and music. They are very bad
reasoners, and vehemently given to opposition, unless when they
happen to be of the right opinion, which is seldom their case.
Imagination, fancy, and invention, they are wholly strangers to,
nor have any words in their language, by which those ideas can be
expressed; the whole compass of their thoughts and mind being
shut up within the two forementioned sciences.
Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical
part, have great faith in judicial astrology, although they are
ashamed to own it publicly. But what I chiefly admired, and
thought altogether unaccountable, was the strong disposition I
observed in them towards news and politics, perpetually inquiring
into public affairs, giving their judgments in matters of state,
and passionately disputing every inch of a party opinion. I have
indeed observed the same disposition among most of the
mathematicians I have known in Europe, although I could never
discover the least analogy between the two sciences; unless those
people suppose, that because the smallest circle has as many
degrees as the largest, therefore the regulation and management
of the world require no more abilities than the handling and
turning of a globe; but I rather take this quality to spring from
a very common infirmity of human nature, inclining us to be most
curious and conceited in matters where we have least concern, and
for which we are least adapted by study or nature.
These people are under continual disquietudes, never enjoying a
minutes peace of mind; and their disturbances proceed from causes
which very little affect the rest of mortals. Their
apprehensions arise from several changes they dread in the
celestial bodies: for instance, that the earth, by the continual
approaches of the sun towards it, must, in course of time, be
absorbed, or swallowed up; that the face of the sun, will, by
degrees, be encrusted with its own effluvia, and give no more
light to the world; that the earth very narrowly escaped a brush
from the tail of the last comet, which would have infallibly
reduced it to ashes; and that the next, which they have
calculated for one-and-thirty years hence, will probably destroy
us. For if, in its perihelion, it should approach within a
certain degree of the sun (as by their calculations they have
reason to dread) it will receive a degree of heat ten thousand
times more intense than that of red hot glowing iron, and in its
absence from the sun, carry a blazing tail ten hundred thousand
and fourteen miles long, through which, if the earth should pass
at the distance of one hundred thousand miles from the nucleus,
or main body of the comet, it must in its passage be set on fire,
and reduced to ashes: that the sun, daily spending its rays
without any nutriment to supply them, will at last be wholly
consumed and annihilated; which must be attended with the
destruction of this earth, and of all the planets that receive
their light from it.
They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehensions of these,
and the like impending dangers, that they can neither sleep
quietly in their beds, nor have any relish for the common
pleasures and amusements of life. When they meet an acquaintance
in the morning, the first question is about the sun's health, how
he looked at his setting and rising, and what hopes they have to
avoid the stroke of the approaching comet. This conversation
they are apt to run into with the same temper that boys discover
in delighting to hear terrible stories of spirits and hobgoblins,
which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to bed for fear.
The women of the island have abundance of vivacity: they,
contemn their husbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers,
whereof there is always a considerable number from the continent
below, attending at court, either upon affairs of the several
towns and corporations, or their own particular occasions, but
are much despised, because they want the same endowments. Among
these the ladies choose their gallants: but the vexation is,
that they act with too much ease and security; for the husband is
always so rapt in speculation, that the mistress and lover may
proceed to the greatest familiarities before his face, if he be
but provided with paper and implements, and without his flapper
at his side.
The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the island,
although I think it the most delicious spot of ground in the
world; and although they live here in the greatest plenty and
magnificence, and are allowed to do whatever they please, they
long to see the world, and take the diversions of the metropolis,
which they are not allowed to do without a particular license
from the king; and this is not easy to be obtained, because the
people of quality have found, by frequent experience, how hard it
is to persuade their women to return from below. I was told that
a great court lady, who had several children,--is married to the
prime minister, the richest subject in the kingdom, a very
graceful person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest
palace of the island,--went down to Lagado on the pretence of
health, there hid herself for several months, till the king sent
a warrant to search for her; and she was found in an obscure
eating-house all in rags, having pawned her clothes to maintain
an old deformed footman, who beat her every day, and in whose
company she was taken, much against her will. And although her
husband received her with all possible kindness, and without the
least reproach, she soon after contrived to steal down again,
with all her jewels, to the same gallant, and has not been heard
of since.
This may perhaps pass with the reader rather for an European or
English story, than for one of a country so remote. But he may
please to consider, that the caprices of womankind are not
limited by any climate or nation, and that they are much more
uniform, than can be easily imagined.
In about a month's time, I had made a tolerable proficiency in
their language, and was able to answer most of the king's
questions, when I had the honour to attend him. His majesty
discovered not the least curiosity to inquire into the laws,
government, history, religion, or manners of the countries where
I had been; but confined his questions to the state of
mathematics, and received the account I gave him with great
contempt and indifference, though often roused by his flapper on
each side.
CHAPTER III.
[A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy. The
Laputians' great improvements in the latter. The king's method
of suppressing insurrections.]
I desired leave of this prince to see the curiosities of the
island, which he was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my
tutor to attend me. I chiefly wanted to know, to what cause, in
art or in nature, it owed its several motions, whereof I will now
give a philosophical account to the reader.
The flying or floating island is exactly circular, its diameter
7837 yards, or about four miles and a half, and consequently
contains ten thousand acres. It is three hundred yards thick.
The bottom, or under surface, which appears to those who view it
below, is one even regular plate of adamant, shooting up to the
height of about two hundred yards. Above it lie the several
minerals in their usual order, and over all is a coat of rich
mould, ten or twelve feet deep. The declivity of the upper
surface, from the circumference to the centre, is the natural
cause why all the dews and rains, which fall upon the island, are
conveyed in small rivulets toward the middle, where they are
emptied into four large basins, each of about half a mile in
circuit, and two hundred yards distant from the centre. From
these basins the water is continually exhaled by the sun in the
daytime, which effectually prevents their overflowing. Besides,
as it is in the power of the monarch to raise the island above
the region of clouds and vapours, he can prevent the falling of
dews and rain whenever he pleases. For the highest clouds cannot
rise above two miles, as naturalists agree, at least they were
never known to do so in that country.
At the centre of the island there is a chasm about fifty yards in
diameter, whence the astronomers descend into a large dome, which
is therefore called FLANDONA GAGNOLE, or the astronomer's cave,
situated at the depth of a hundred yards beneath the upper
surface of the adamant. In this cave are twenty lamps
continually burning, which, from the reflection of the adamant,
cast a strong light into every part. The place is stored with
great variety of sextants, quadrants, telescopes, astrolabes, and
other astronomical instruments. But the greatest curiosity, upon
which the fate of the island depends, is a loadstone of a
prodigious size, in shape resembling a weaver's shuttle. It is
in length six yards, and in the thickest part at least three
yards over. This magnet is sustained by a very strong axle of
adamant passing through its middle, upon which it plays, and is
poised so exactly that the weakest hand can turn it. It is
hooped round with a hollow cylinder of adamant, four feet yards
in diameter, placed horizontally, and supported by eight
adamantine feet, each six yards high. In the middle of the
concave side, there is a groove twelve inches deep, in which the
extremities of the axle are lodged, and turned round as there is
occasion.
The stone cannot be removed from its place by any force, because
the hoop and its feet are one continued piece with that body of
adamant which constitutes the bottom of the island.
By means of this loadstone, the island is made to rise and fall,
and move from one place to another. For, with respect to that
part of the earth over which the monarch presides, the stone is
endued at one of its sides with an attractive power, and at the
other with a repulsive. Upon placing the magnet erect, with its
attracting end towards the earth, the island descends; but when
the repelling extremity points downwards, the island mounts
directly upwards. When the position of the stone is oblique, the
motion of the island is so too: for in this magnet, the forces
always act in lines parallel to its direction.
By this oblique motion, the island is conveyed to different parts
of the monarch's dominions. To explain the manner of its
progress, let A B represent a line drawn across the dominions of
Balnibarbi, let the line C D represent the loadstone, of which
let D be the repelling end, and C the attracting end, the island
being over C: let the stone be placed in position C D, with its
repelling end downwards; then the island will be driven upwards
obliquely towards D. When it is arrived at D, let the stone be
turned upon its axle, till its attracting end points towards E,
and then the island will be carried obliquely towards E; where,
if the stone be again turned upon its axle till it stands in the
position E F, with its repelling point downwards, the island will
rise obliquely towards F, where, by directing the attracting end
towards G, the island may be carried to G, and from G to H, by
turning the stone, so as to make its repelling extremity to point
directly downward. And thus, by changing the situation of the
stone, as often as there is occasion, the island is made to rise
and fall by turns in an oblique direction, and by those alternate
risings and fallings (the obliquity being not considerable) is
conveyed from one part of the dominions to the other.
But it must be observed, that this island cannot move beyond the
extent of the dominions below, nor can it rise above the height
of four miles. For which the astronomers (who have written large
systems concerning the stone) assign the following reason: that
the magnetic virtue does not extend beyond the distance of four
miles, and that the mineral, which acts upon the stone in the
bowels of the earth, and in the sea about six leagues distant
from the shore, is not diffused through the whole globe, but
terminated with the limits of the king's dominions; and it was
easy, from the great advantage of such a superior situation, for
a prince to bring under his obedience whatever country lay within
the attraction of that magnet.
When the stone is put parallel to the plane of the horizon, the
island stands still; for in that case the extremities of it,
being at equal distance from the earth, act with equal force, the
one in drawing downwards, the other in pushing upwards, and
consequently no motion can ensue.
This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who,
from time to time, give it such positions as the monarch directs.
They spend the greatest part of their lives in observing the
celestial bodies, which they do by the assistance of glasses, far
excelling ours in goodness. For, although their largest
telescopes do not exceed three feet, they magnify much more than
those of a hundred with us, and show the stars with greater
clearness. This advantage has enabled them to extend their
discoveries much further than our astronomers in Europe; for they
have made a catalogue of ten thousand fixed stars, whereas the
largest of ours do not contain above one third part of that
number. They have likewise discovered two lesser stars, or
satellites, which revolve about Mars; whereof the innermost is
distant from the centre of the primary planet exactly three of
his diameters, and the outermost, five; the former revolves in
the space of ten hours, and the latter in twenty-one and a half;
so that the squares of their periodical times are very near in
the same proportion with the cubes of their distance from the
centre of Mars; which evidently shows them to be governed by the
same law of gravitation that influences the other heavenly
bodies.
They have observed ninety-three different comets, and settled
their periods with great exactness. If this be true (and they
affirm it with great confidence) it is much to be wished, that
their observations were made public, whereby the theory of
comets, which at present is very lame and defective, might be
brought to the same perfection with other arts of astronomy.
The king would be the most absolute prince in the universe, if he
could but prevail on a ministry to join with him; but these
having their estates below on the continent, and considering that
the office of a favourite has a very uncertain tenure, would
never consent to the enslaving of their country.
If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into
violent factions, or refuse to pay the usual tribute, the king
has two methods of reducing them to obedience. The first and the
mildest course is, by keeping the island hovering over such a
town, and the lands about it, whereby he can deprive them of the
benefit of the sun and the rain, and consequently afflict the
inhabitants with dearth and diseases: and if the crime deserve
it, they are at the same time pelted from above with great
stones, against which they have no defence but by creeping into
cellars or caves, while the roofs of their houses are beaten to
pieces. But if they still continue obstinate, or offer to raise
insurrections, he proceeds to the last remedy, by letting the
island drop directly upon their heads, which makes a universal
destruction both of houses and men. However, this is an extremity
to which the prince is seldom driven, neither indeed is he
willing to put it in execution; nor dare his ministers advise him
to an action, which, as it would render them odious to the
people, so it would be a great damage to their own estates, which
all lie below; for the island is the king's demesne.
But there is still indeed a more weighty reason, why the kings of
this country have been always averse from executing so terrible
an action, unless upon the utmost necessity. For, if the town
intended to be destroyed should have in it any tall rocks, as it
generally falls out in the larger cities, a situation probably
chosen at first with a view to prevent such a catastrophe; or if
it abound in high spires, or pillars of stone, a sudden fall
might endanger the bottom or under surface of the island, which,
although it consist, as I have said, of one entire adamant, two
hundred yards thick, might happen to crack by too great a shock,
or burst by approaching too near the fires from the houses below,
as the backs, both of iron and stone, will often do in our
chimneys. Of all this the people are well apprised, and
understand how far to carry their obstinacy, where their liberty
or property is concerned. And the king, when he is highest
provoked, and most determined to press a city to rubbish, orders
the island to descend with great gentleness, out of a pretence of
tenderness to his people, but, indeed, for fear of breaking the
adamantine bottom; in which case, it is the opinion of all their
philosophers, that the loadstone could no longer hold it up, and
the whole mass would fall to the ground.
By a fundamental law of this realm, neither the king, nor either
of his two eldest sons, are permitted to leave the island; nor
the queen, till she is past child-bearing.
CHAPTER IV.
[The author leaves Laputa; is conveyed to Balnibarbi; arrives at
the metropolis. A description of the metropolis, and the country
adjoining. The author hospitably received by a great lord. His
conversation with that lord.]
Although I cannot say that I was ill treated in this island, yet
I must confess I thought myself too much neglected, not without
some degree of contempt; for neither prince nor people appeared
to be curious in any part of knowledge, except mathematics and
music, wherein I was far their inferior, and upon that account
very little regarded.
On the other side, after having seen all the curiosities of the
island, I was very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of
those people. They were indeed excellent in two sciences for
which I have great esteem, and wherein I am not unversed; but, at
the same time, so abstracted and involved in speculation, that I
never met with such disagreeable companions. I conversed only
with women, tradesmen, flappers, and court-pages, during two
months of my abode there; by which, at last, I rendered myself
extremely contemptible; yet these were the only people from whom
I could ever receive a reasonable answer.
I had obtained, by hard study, a good degree of knowledge in
their language: I was weary of being confined to an island where
I received so little countenance, and resolved to leave it with
the first opportunity.
There was a great lord at court, nearly related to the king, and
for that reason alone used with respect. He was universally
reckoned the most ignorant and stupid person among them. He had
performed many eminent services for the crown, had great natural
and acquired parts, adorned with integrity and honour; but so ill
an ear for music, that his detractors reported, "he had been
often known to beat time in the wrong place;" neither could his
tutors, without extreme difficulty, teach him to demonstrate the
most easy proposition in the mathematics. He was pleased to show
me many marks of favour, often did me the honour of a visit,
desired to be informed in the affairs of Europe, the laws and
customs, the manners and learning of the several countries where
I had travelled. He listened to me with great attention, and
made very wise observations on all I spoke. He had two flappers
attending him for state, but never made use of them, except at
court and in visits of ceremony, and would always command them to
withdraw, when we were alone together.
I entreated this illustrious person, to intercede in my behalf
with his majesty, for leave to depart; which he accordingly did,
as he was pleased to tell me, with regret: for indeed he had
made me several offers very advantageous, which, however, I
refused, with expressions of the highest acknowledgment.
On the 16th of February I took leave of his majesty and the
court. The king made me a present to the value of about two
hundred pounds English, and my protector, his kinsman, as much
more, together with a letter of recommendation to a friend of his
in Lagado, the metropolis. The island being then hovering over a
mountain about two miles from it, I was let down from the lowest
gallery, in the same manner as I had been taken up.
The continent, as far as it is subject to the monarch of the
flying island, passes under the general name of BALNIBARBI; and
the metropolis, as I said before, is called LAGADO. I felt some
little satisfaction in finding myself on firm ground. I walked
to the city without any concern, being clad like one of the
natives, and sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I
soon found out the person's house to whom I was recommended,
presented my letter from his friend the grandee in the island,
and was received with much kindness. This great lord, whose name
was Munodi, ordered me an apartment in his own house, where I
continued during my stay, and was entertained in a most
hospitable manner.
The next morning after my arrival, he took me in his chariot to
see the town, which is about half the bigness of London; but the
houses very strangely built, and most of them out of repair. The
people in the streets walked fast, looked wild, their eyes fixed,
and were generally in rags. We passed through one of the town
gates, and went about three miles into the country, where I saw
many labourers working with several sorts of tools in the ground,
but was not able to conjecture what they were about: neither did
observe any expectation either of corn or grass, although the
soil appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear admiring at
these odd appearances, both in town and country; and I made bold
to desire my conductor, that he would be pleased to explain to
me, what could be meant by so many busy heads, hands, and faces,
both in the streets and the fields, because I did not discover
any good effects they produced; but, on the contrary, I never
knew a soil so unhappily cultivated, houses so ill contrived and
so ruinous, or a people whose countenances and habit expressed so
much misery and want.
This lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had been
some years governor of Lagado; but, by a cabal of ministers, was
discharged for insufficiency. However, the king treated him with
tenderness, as a well-meaning man, but of a low contemptible
understanding.
When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhabitants,
he made no further answer than by telling me, "that I had not
been long enough among them to form a judgment; and that the
different nations of the world had different customs;" with other
common topics to the same purpose. But, when we returned to his
palace, he asked me "how I liked the building, what absurdities I
observed, and what quarrel I had with the dress or looks of his
domestics?" This he might safely do; because every thing about
him was magnificent, regular, and polite. I answered, "that his
excellency's prudence, quality, and fortune, had exempted him
from those defects, which folly and beggary had produced in
others." He said, "if I would go with him to his country-house,
about twenty miles distant, where his estate lay, there would be
more leisure for this kind of conversation." I told his
excellency "that I was entirely at his disposal;" and accordingly
we set out next morning.
During our journey he made me observe the several methods used by
farmers in managing their lands, which to me were wholly
unaccountable; for, except in some very few places, I could not
discover one ear of corn or blade of grass. But, in three hours
travelling, the scene was wholly altered; we came into a most
beautiful country; farmers' houses, at small distances, neatly
built; the fields enclosed, containing vineyards, corn-grounds,
and meadows. Neither do I remember to have seen a more
delightful prospect. His excellency observed my countenance to
clear up; he told me, with a sigh, "that there his estate began,
and would continue the same, till we should come to his house:
that his countrymen ridiculed and despised him, for managing his
affairs no better, and for setting so ill an example to the
kingdom; which, however, was followed by very few, such as were
old, and wilful, and weak like himself."
We came at length to the house, which was indeed a noble
structure, built according to the best rules of ancient
architecture. The fountains, gardens, walks, avenues, and
groves, were all disposed with exact judgment and taste. I gave
due praises to every thing I saw, whereof his excellency took not
the least notice till after supper; when, there being no third
companion, he told me with a very melancholy air "that he doubted
he must throw down his houses in town and country, to rebuild
them after the present mode; destroy all his plantations, and
cast others into such a form as modern usage required, and give
the same directions to all his tenants, unless he would submit to
incur the censure of pride, singularity, affectation, ignorance,
caprice, and perhaps increase his majesty's displeasure; that the
admiration I appeared to be under would cease or diminish, when
he had informed me of some particulars which, probably, I never
heard of at court, the people there being too much taken up in
their own speculations, to have regard to what passed here
below."
The sum of his discourse was to this effect: "That about forty
years ago, certain persons went up to Laputa, either upon
business or diversion, and, after five months continuance, came
back with a very little smattering in mathematics, but full of
volatile spirits acquired in that airy region: that these
persons, upon their return, began to dislike the management of
every thing below, and fell into schemes of putting all arts,
sciences, languages, and mechanics, upon a new foot. To this
end, they procured a royal patent for erecting an academy of
projectors in Lagado; and the humour prevailed so strongly among
the people, that there is not a town of any consequence in the
kingdom without such an academy. In these colleges the
professors contrive new rules and methods of agriculture and
building, and new instruments, and tools for all trades and
manufactures; whereby, as they undertake, one man shall do the
work of ten; a palace may be built in a week, of materials so
durable as to last for ever without repairing. All the fruits of
the earth shall come to maturity at whatever season we think fit
to choose, and increase a hundred fold more than they do at
present; with innumerable other happy proposals. The only
inconvenience is, that none of these projects are yet brought to
perfection; and in the mean time, the whole country lies
miserably waste, the houses in ruins, and the people without food
or clothes. By all which, instead of being discouraged, they are
fifty times more violently bent upon prosecuting their schemes,
driven equally on by hope and despair: that as for himself,
being not of an enterprising spirit, he was content to go on in
the old forms, to live in the houses his ancestors had built, and
act as they did, in every part of life, without innovation: that
some few other persons of quality and gentry had done the same,
but were looked on with an eye of contempt and ill-will, as
enemies to art, ignorant, and ill common-wealth's men, preferring
their own ease and sloth before the general improvement of their
country."
His lordship added, "That he would not, by any further
particulars, prevent the pleasure I should certainly take in
viewing the grand academy, whither he was resolved I should go."
He only desired me to observe a ruined building, upon the side of
a mountain about three miles distant, of which he gave me this
account: "That he had a very convenient mill within half a mile
of his house, turned by a current from a large river, and
sufficient for his own family, as well as a great number of his
tenants; that about seven years ago, a club of those projectors
came to him with proposals to destroy this mill, and build
another on the side of that mountain, on the long ridge whereof a
long canal must be cut, for a repository of water, to be conveyed
up by pipes and engines to supply the mill, because the wind and
air upon a height agitated the water, and thereby made it fitter
for motion, and because the water, descending down a declivity,
would turn the mill with half the current of a river whose course
is more upon a level." He said, "that being then not very well
with the court, and pressed by many of his friends, he complied
with the proposal; and after employing a hundred men for two
years, the work miscarried, the projectors went off, laying the
blame entirely upon him, railing at him ever since, and putting
others upon the same experiment, with equal assurance of success,
as well as equal disappointment."
In a few days we came back to town; and his excellency,
considering the bad character he had in the academy, would not go
with me himself, but recommended me to a friend of his, to bear
me company thither. My lord was pleased to represent me as a
great admirer of projects, and a person of much curiosity and
easy belief; which, indeed, was not without truth; for I had
myself been a sort of projector in my younger days.
CHAPTER V.
[The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The
academy largely described. The arts wherein the professors
employ themselves.]
This academy is not an entire single building, but a continuation
of several houses on both sides of a street, which growing waste,
was purchased and applied to that use.
I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days
to the academy. Every room has in it one or more projectors; and
I believe I could not be in fewer than five hundred rooms.
The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty hands and
face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several
places. His clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the same
colour. He has been eight years upon a project for extracting
sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put in phials
hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement
summers. He told me, he did not doubt, that, in eight years
more, he should be able to supply the governor's gardens with
sunshine, at a reasonable rate: but he complained that his stock
was low, and entreated me "to give him something as an
encouragement to ingenuity, especially since this had been a very
dear season for cucumbers." I made him a small present, for my
lord had furnished me with money on purpose, because he knew
their practice of begging from all who go to see them.
I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being
almost overcome with a horrible stink. My conductor pressed me
forward, conjuring me in a whisper "to give no offence, which
would be highly resented;" and therefore I durst not so much as
stop my nose. The projector of this cell was the most ancient
student of the academy; his face and beard were of a pale yellow;
his hands and clothes daubed over with filth. When I was
presented to him, he gave me a close embrace, a compliment I
could well have excused. His employment, from his first coming
into the academy, was an operation to reduce human excrement to
its original food, by separating the several parts, removing the
tincture which it receives from the gall, making the odour
exhale, and scumming off the saliva. He had a weekly allowance,
from the society, of a vessel filled with human ordure, about the
bigness of a Bristol barrel.
I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who likewise
showed me a treatise he had written concerning the malleability
of fire, which he intended to publish.
There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new
method for building houses, by beginning at the roof, and working
downward to the foundation; which he justified to me, by the like
practice of those two prudent insects, the bee and the spider.
There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his
own condition: their employment was to mix colours for painters,
which their master taught them to distinguish by feeling and
smelling. It was indeed my misfortune to find them at that time
not very perfect in their lessons, and the professor himself
happened to be generally mistaken. This artist is much
encouraged and esteemed by the whole fraternity.
In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who
had found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the
charges of ploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in
an acre of ground you bury, at six inches distance and eight
deep, a quantity of acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or
vegetables, whereof these animals are fondest; then you drive six
hundred or more of them into the field, where, in a few days,
they will root up the whole ground in search of their food, and
make it fit for sowing, at the same time manuring it with their
dung: it is true, upon experiment, they found the charge and
trouble very great, and they had little or no crop. However it
is not doubted, that this invention may be capable of great
improvement.
I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all
hung round with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist
to go in and out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, "not to
disturb his webs." He lamented "the fatal mistake the world had
been so long in, of using silkworms, while we had such plenty of
domestic insects who infinitely excelled the former, because they
understood how to weave, as well as spin." And he proposed
further, "that by employing spiders, the charge of dyeing silks
should be wholly saved;" whereof I was fully convinced, when he
showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully coloured,
wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us "that the webs would
take a tincture from them; and as he had them of all hues, he
hoped to fit everybody's fancy, as soon as he could find proper
food for the flies, of certain gums, oils, and other glutinous
matter, to give a strength and consistence to the threads."
There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sun-dial
upon the great weathercock on the town-house, by adjusting the
annual and diurnal motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer
and coincide with all accidental turnings of the wind.
I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my
conductor led me into a room where a great physician resided, who
was famous for curing that disease, by contrary operations from
the same instrument. He had a large pair of bellows, with a long
slender muzzle of ivory: this he conveyed eight inches up the
anus, and drawing in the wind, he affirmed he could make the guts
as lank as a dried bladder. But when the disease was more
stubborn and violent, he let in the muzzle while the bellows were
full of wind, which he discharged into the body of the patient;
then withdrew the instrument to replenish it, clapping his thumb
strongly against the orifice of then fundament; and this being
repeated three or four times, the adventitious wind would rush
out, bringing the noxious along with it, (like water put into a
pump), and the patient recovered. I saw him try both experiments
upon a dog, but could not discern any effect from the former.
After the latter the animal was ready to burst, and made so
violent a discharge as was very offensive to me and my companion.
The dog died on the spot, and we left the doctor endeavouring to
recover him, by the same operation.
I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader
with all the curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity.
I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being
appropriated to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I
shall say something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person
more, who is called among them "the universal artist." He told
us "he had been thirty years employing his thoughts for the
improvement of human life." He had two large rooms full of
wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at work. Some were
condensing air into a dry tangible substance, by extracting the
nitre, and letting the aqueous or fluid particles percolate;
others softening marble, for pillows and pin-cushions; others
petrifying the hoofs of a living horse, to preserve them from
foundering. The artist himself was at that time busy upon two
great designs; the first, to sow land with chaff, wherein he
affirmed the true seminal virtue to be contained, as he
demonstrated by several experiments, which I was not skilful
enough to comprehend. The other was, by a certain composition of
gums, minerals, and vegetables, outwardly applied, to prevent the
growth of wool upon two young lambs; and he hoped, in a
reasonable time to propagate the breed of naked sheep, all over
the kingdom.
We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I
have already said, the projectors in speculative learning
resided.
The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty
pupils about him. After salutation, observing me to look
earnestly upon a frame, which took up the greatest part of both
the length and breadth of the room, he said, "Perhaps I might
wonder to see him employed in a project for improving speculative
knowledge, by practical and mechanical operations. But the world
would soon be sensible of its usefulness; and he flattered
himself, that a more noble, exalted thought never sprang in any
other man's head. Every one knew how laborious the usual method
is of attaining to arts and sciences; whereas, by his
contrivance, the most ignorant person, at a reasonable charge,
and with a little bodily labour, might write books in philosophy,
poetry, politics, laws, mathematics, and theology, without the
least assistance from genius or study." He then led me to the
frame, about the sides, whereof all his pupils stood in ranks.
It was twenty feet square, placed in the middle of the room. The
superfices was composed of several bits of wood, about the
bigness of a die, but some larger than others. They were all
linked together by slender wires. These bits of wood were
covered, on every square, with paper pasted on them; and on these
papers were written all the words of their language, in their
several moods, tenses, and declensions; but without any order.
The professor then desired me "to observe; for he was going to
set his engine at work." The pupils, at his command, took each
of them hold of an iron handle, whereof there were forty fixed
round the edges of the frame; and giving them a sudden turn, the
whole disposition of the words was entirely changed. He then
commanded six-and-thirty of the lads, to read the several lines
softly, as they appeared upon the frame; and where they found
three or four words together that might make part of a sentence,
they dictated to the four remaining boys, who were scribes. This
work was repeated three or four times, and at every turn, the
engine was so contrived, that the words shifted into new places,
as the square bits of wood moved upside down.
Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour;
and the professor showed me several volumes in large folio,
already collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to
piece together, and out of those rich materials, to give the
world a complete body of all arts and sciences; which, however,
might be still improved, and much expedited, if the public would
raise a fund for making and employing five hundred such frames in
Lagado, and oblige the managers to contribute in common their
several collections.
He assured me "that this invention had employed all his thoughts
from his youth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his
frame, and made the strictest computation of the general
proportion there is in books between the numbers of particles,
nouns, and verbs, and other parts of speech."
I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person, for
his great communicativeness; and promised, "if ever I had the
good fortune to return to my native country, that I would do him
justice, as the sole inventor of this wonderful machine;" the
form and contrivance of which I desired leave to delineate on
paper, as in the figure here annexed. I told him, "although it
were the custom of our learned in Europe to steal inventions from
each other, who had thereby at least this advantage, that it
became a controversy which was the right owner; yet I would take
such caution, that he should have the honour entire, without a
rival."
We next went to the school of languages, where three professors
sat in consultation upon improving that of their own country.
The first project was, to shorten discourse, by cutting
polysyllables into one, and leaving out verbs and participles,
because, in reality, all things imaginable are but norms.
The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words
whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of
health, as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we
speak is, in some degree, a diminution of our lunge by corrosion,
and, consequently, contributes to the shortening of our lives.
An expedient was therefore offered, "that since words are only
names for things, it would be more convenient for all men to
carry about them such things as were necessary to express a
particular business they are to discourse on." And this
invention would certainly have taken place, to the great ease as
well as health of the subject, if the women, in conjunction with
the vulgar and illiterate, had not threatened to raise a
rebellion unless they might be allowed the liberty to speak with
their tongues, after the manner of their forefathers; such
constant irreconcilable enemies to science are the common people.
However, many of the most learned and wise adhere to the new
scheme of expressing themselves by things; which has only this
inconvenience attending it, that if a man's business be very
great, and of various kinds, he must be obliged, in proportion,
to carry a greater bundle of things upon his back, unless he can
afford one or two strong servants to attend him. I have often
beheld two of those sages almost sinking under the weight of
their packs, like pedlars among us, who, when they met in the
street, would lay down their loads, open their sacks, and hold
conversation for an hour together; then put up their implements,
help each other to resume their burdens, and take their leave.
But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his
pockets, and under his arms, enough to supply him; and in his
house, he cannot be at a loss. Therefore the room where company
meet who practise this art, is full of all things, ready at hand,
requisite to furnish matter for this kind of artificial converse.
Another great advantage proposed by this invention was, that it
would serve as a universal language, to be understood in all
civilised nations, whose goods and utensils are generally of the
same kind, or nearly resembling, so that their uses might easily
be comprehended. And thus ambassadors would be qualified to
treat with foreign princes, or ministers of state, to whose
tongues they were utter strangers.
I was at the mathematical school, where the master taught his
pupils after a method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The
proposition, and demonstration, were fairly written on a thin
wafer, with ink composed of a cephalic tincture. This, the
student was to swallow upon a fasting stomach, and for three days
following, eat nothing but bread and water. As the wafer
digested, the tincture mounted to his brain, bearing the
proposition along with it. But the success has not hitherto been
answerable, partly by some error in the QUANTUM or composition,
and partly by the perverseness of lads, to whom this bolus is so
nauseous, that they generally steal aside, and discharge it
upwards, before it can operate; neither have they been yet
persuaded to use so long an abstinence, as the prescription
requires.