Gulliver's Travels
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG(Conclusion)
He desired I would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as far asunder as I conveniently could. He then commanded his general (who was an old experienced leader, and a great patron of mine) to draw up the troops in close order, and march them under me; the foot by twenty-four abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with drums beating, colours flying, and pikes advanced.
by Jonathan Swift
Illustrated By J. J. Grandville
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PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG(Conclusion).
CHAPTER V.
[Several adventurers that happened to the author. The execution
of a criminal. The author shows his skill in navigation.]
I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my
littleness had not exposed me to several ridiculous and
troublesome accidents; some of which I shall venture to relate.
Glumdalclitch often carried me into the gardens of the court in
my smaller box, and would sometimes take me out of it, and hold
me in her hand, or set me down to walk. I remember, before the
dwarf left the queen, he followed us one day into those gardens,
and my nurse having set me down, he and I being close together,
near some dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit, by a silly
allusion between him and the trees, which happens to hold in
their language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious
rogue, watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of
them, shook it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples,
each of them near as large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling
about my ears; one of them hit me on the back as I chanced to
stoop, and knocked me down flat on my face; but I received no
other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I
had given the provocation.
Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to
divert myself, while she walked at some distance with her
governess. In the meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent
shower of hail, that I was immediately by the force of it, struck
to the ground: and when I was down, the hailstones gave me such
cruel bangs all over the body, as if I had been pelted with
tennis-balls; however, I made a shift to creep on all fours, and
shelter myself, by lying flat on my face, on the lee-side of a
border of lemon-thyme, but so bruised from head to foot, that I
could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be
wondered at, because nature, in that country, observing the same
proportion through all her operations, a hailstone is near
eighteen hundred times as large as one in Europe; which I can
assert upon experience, having been so curious as to weigh and
measure them.
But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden,
when my little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure place
(which I often entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my own
thoughts,) and having left my box at home, to avoid the trouble
of carrying it, went to another part of the garden with her
governess and some ladies of her acquaintance. While she was
absent, and out of hearing, a small white spaniel that belonged
to one of the chief gardeners, having got by accident into the
garden, happened to range near the place where I lay: the dog,
following the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his
mouth, ran straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me
gently on the ground. By good fortune he had been so well
taught, that I was carried between his teeth without the least
hurt, or even tearing my clothes. But the poor gardener, who
knew me well, and had a great kindness for me, was in a terrible
fright: he gently took me up in both his hands, and asked me how
I did? but I was so amazed and out of breath, that I could not
speak a word. In a few minutes I came to myself, and he carried
me safe to my little nurse, who, by this time, had returned to
the place where she left me, and was in cruel agonies when I did
not appear, nor answer when she called. She severely reprimanded
the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was hushed up,
and never known at court, for the girl was afraid of the queen's
anger; and truly, as to myself, I thought it would not be for my
reputation, that such a story should go about.
This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust
me abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long
afraid of this resolution, and therefore concealed from her some
little unlucky adventures, that happened in those times when I
was left by myself. Once a kite, hovering over the garden, made
a stoop at me, and if I had not resolutely drawn my hanger, and
run under a thick espalier, he would have certainly carried me
away in his talons. Another time, walking to the top of a fresh
mole-hill, I fell to my neck in the hole, through which that
animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie, not worth
remembering, to excuse myself for spoiling my clothes. I
likewise broke my right shin against the shell of a snail, which
I happened to stumble over, as I was walking alone and thinking
on poor England.
I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to
observe, in those solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not
appear to be at all afraid of me, but would hop about within a
yard's distance, looking for worms and other food, with as much
indifference and security as if no creature at all were near
them. I remember, a thrush had the confidence to snatch out of my
hand, with his bill, a of cake that Glumdalclitch had just given
me for my breakfast. When I attempted to catch any of these
birds, they would boldly turn against me, endeavouring to peck my
fingers, which I durst not venture within their reach; and then
they would hop back unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails, as
they did before. But one day, I took a thick cudgel, and threw
it with all my strength so luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked
him down, and seizing him by the neck with both my hands, ran
with him in triumph to my nurse. However, the bird, who had only
been stunned, recovering himself gave me so many boxes with his
wings, on both sides of my head and body, though I held him at
arm's-length, and was out of the reach of his claws, that I was
twenty times thinking to let him go. But I was soon relieved by
one of our servants, who wrung off the bird's neck, and I had him
next day for dinner, by the queen's command. This linnet, as
near as I can remember, seemed to be somewhat larger than an
English swan.
The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their
apartments, and desired she would bring me along with her, on
purpose to have the pleasure of seeing and touching me. They
would often strip me naked from top to toe, and lay me at full
length in their bosoms; wherewith I was much disgusted because,
to say the truth, a very offensive smell came from their skins;
which I do not mention, or intend, to the disadvantage of those
excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of respect; but I
conceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to my
littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more
disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of
the same quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found
their natural smell was much more supportable, than when they
used perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. I cannot
forget, that an intimate friend of mine in Lilliput, took the
freedom in a warm day, when I had used a good deal of exercise,
to complain of a strong smell about me, although I am as little
faulty that way, as most of my sex: but I suppose his faculty of
smelling was as nice with regard to me, as mine was to that of
this people. Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing justice to
the queen my mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse, whose persons
were as sweet as those of any lady in England.
That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of honour
(when my nurse carried me to visit then) was, to see them use me
without any manner of ceremony, like a creature who had no sort
of consequence: for they would strip themselves to the skin, and
put on their smocks in my presence, while I was placed on their
toilet, directly before their naked bodies, which I am sure to me
was very far from being a tempting sight, or from giving me any
other emotions than those of horror and disgust: their skins
appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously coloured, when I saw
them near, with a mole here and there as broad as a trencher, and
hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say nothing
farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they
at all scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank,
to the quantity of at least two hogsheads, in a vessel that held
above three tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a
pleasant, frolicsome girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me
astride upon one of her nipples, with many other tricks, wherein
the reader will excuse me for not being over particular. But I
was so much displeased, that I entreated Glumdalclitch to
contrive some excuse for not seeing that young lady any more.
One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse's
governess, came and pressed them both to see an execution. It
was of a man, who had murdered one of that gentleman's intimate
acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the
company, very much against her inclination, for she was naturally
tender-hearted: and, as for myself, although I abhorred such kind
of spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted me to see something that
I thought must be extraordinary. The malefactor was fixed in a
chair upon a scaffold erected for that purpose, and his head cut
off at one blow, with a sword of about forty feet long. The
veins and arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity of
blood, and so high in the air, that the great JET D'EAU at
Versailles was not equal to it for the time it lasted: and the
head, when it fell on the scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as
made me start, although I was at least half an English mile
distant.
The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages, and
took all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me
whether I understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and whether
a little exercise of rowing might not be convenient for my
health? I answered, that I understood both very well: for
although my proper employment had been to be surgeon or doctor to
the ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I was forced to work like a
common mariner. But I could not see how this could be done in
their country, where the smallest wherry was equal to a
first-rate man of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage
would never live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I
would contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and she
would provide a place for me to sail in. The fellow was an
ingenious workman, and by my instructions, in ten days, finished
a pleasure-boat with all its tackling, able conveniently to hold
eight Europeans. When it was finished, the queen was so
delighted, that she ran with it in her lap to the king, who
ordered it to be put into a cistern full of water, with me in it,
by way of trial, where I could not manage my two sculls, or
little oars, for want of room. But the queen had before
contrived another project. She ordered the joiner to make a
wooden trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight
deep; which, being well pitched, to prevent leaking, was placed
on the floor, along the wall, in an outer room of the palace. It
had a cock near the bottom to let out the water, when it began to
grow stale; and two servants could easily fill it in half an
hour. Here I often used to row for my own diversion, as well as
that of the queen and her ladies, who thought themselves well
entertained with my skill and agility. Sometimes I would put up
my sail, and then my business was only to steer, while the ladies
gave me a gale with their fans; and, when they were weary, some
of their pages would blow my sail forward with their breath,
while I showed my art by steering starboard or larboard as I
pleased. When I had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my
boat into her closet, and hung it on a nail to dry.
In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have
cost me my life; for, one of the pages having put my boat into
the trough, the governess who attended Glumdalclitch very
officiously lifted me up, to place me in the boat: but I
happened to slip through her fingers, and should infallibly have
fallen down forty feet upon the floor, if, by the luckiest chance
in the world, I had not been stopped by a corking-pin that stuck
in the good gentlewoman's stomacher; the head of the pin passing
between my shirt and the waistband of my breeches, and thus I was
held by the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my
relief.
Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my
trough every third day with fresh water, was so careless as to
let a huge frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The
frog lay concealed till I was put into my boat, but then, seeing
a resting-place, climbed up, and made it lean so much on one
side, that I was forced to balance it with all my weight on the
other, to prevent overturning. When the frog was got in, it
hopped at once half the length of the boat, and then over my
head, backward and forward, daubing my face and clothes with its
odious slime. The largeness of its features made it appear the
most deformed animal that can be conceived. However, I desired
Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it alone. I banged it a good
while with one of my sculls, and at last forced it to leap out of
the boat.
But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was
from a monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen.
Glumdalclitch had locked me up in her closet, while she went
somewhere upon business, or a visit. The weather being very
warm, the closet-window was left open, as well as the windows and
the door of my bigger box, in which I usually lived, because of
its largeness and conveniency. As I sat quietly meditating at my
table, I heard something bounce in at the closet-window, and skip
about from one side to the other: whereat, although I was much
alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not stirring from my
seat; and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking and leaping
up and down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to
view with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door
and every window. I retreated to the farther corner of my room;
or box; but the monkey looking in at every side, put me in such a
fright, that I wanted presence of mind to conceal myself under
the bed, as I might easily have done. After some time spent in
peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at last espied me; and
reaching one of his paws in at the door, as a cat does when she
plays with a mouse, although I often shifted place to avoid him,
he at length seized the lappet of my coat (which being made of
that country silk, was very thick and strong), and dragged me
out. He took me up in his right fore-foot and held me as a nurse
does a child she is going to suckle, just as I have seen the same
sort of creature do with a kitten in Europe; and when I offered
to struggle he squeezed me so hard, that I thought it more
prudent to submit. I have good reason to believe, that he took
me for a young one of his own species, by his often stroking my
face very gently with his other paw. In these diversions he was
interrupted by a noise at the closet door, as if somebody were
opening it: whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the window at
which he had come in, and thence upon the leads and gutters,
walking upon three legs, and holding me in the fourth, till he
clambered up to a roof that was next to ours. I heard
Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was carrying me out.
The poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter of the palace
was all in an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the monkey
was seen by hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge of a
building, holding me like a baby in one of his forepaws, and
feeding me with the other, by cramming into my mouth some
victuals he had squeezed out of the bag on one side of his chaps,
and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many of the rabble
below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think they justly
ought to be blamed, for, without question, the sight was
ridiculous enough to every body but myself. Some of the people
threw up stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was
strictly forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had been
dashed out.
The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men; which
the monkey observing, and finding himself almost encompassed, not
being able to make speed enough with his three legs, let me drop
on a ridge tile, and made his escape. Here I sat for some time,
five hundred yards from the ground, expecting every moment to be
blown down by the wind, or to fall by my own giddiness, and come
tumbling over and over from the ridge to the eaves; but an honest
lad, one of my nurse's footmen, climbed up, and putting me into
his breeches pocket, brought me down safe.
I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had crammed
down my throat: but my dear little nurse picked it out of my
mouth with a small needle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which gave
me great relief. Yet I was so weak and bruised in the sides with
the squeezes given me by this odious animal, that I was forced to
keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and all the court,
sent every day to inquire after my health; and her majesty made
me several visits during my sickness. The monkey was killed, and
an order made, that no such animal should be kept about the
palace.
When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks
for his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this
adventure. He asked me, "what my thoughts and speculations were,
while I lay in the monkey's paw; how I liked the victuals he gave
me; his manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air on the roof
had sharpened my stomach." He desired to know, "what I would
have done upon such an occasion in my own country." I told his
majesty, "that in Europe we had no monkeys, except such as were
brought for curiosity from other places, and so small, that I
could deal with a dozen of them together, if they presumed to
attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with whom I was so
lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant), if my
fears had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my
hanger," (looking fiercely, and clapping my hand on the hilt, as
I spoke) "when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should
have given him such a wound, as would have made him glad to
withdraw it with more haste than he put it in." This I delivered
in a firm tone, like a person who was jealous lest his courage
should be called in question. However, my speech produced
nothing else beside a laud laughter, which all the respect due to
his majesty from those about him could not make them contain.
This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to
endeavour to do himself honour among those who are out of all
degree of equality or comparison with him. And yet I have seen
the moral of my own behaviour very frequent in England since my
return; where a little contemptible varlet, without the least
title to birth, person, wit, or common sense, shall presume to
look with importance, and put himself upon a foot with the
greatest persons of the kingdom.
I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story:
and Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch
enough to inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that
she thought would be diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had
been out of order, was carried by her governess to take the air
about an hour's distance, or thirty miles from town. They
alighted out of the coach near a small foot-path in a field, and
Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box, I went out of it to
walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must need try my
activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but
unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle
up to my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of
the footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief,
for I was filthily bemired; and my nurse confined me to my box,
till we returned home; where the queen was soon informed of what
had passed, and the footmen spread it about the court: so that
all the mirth for some days was at my expense.
CHAPTER VI.
[Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen.
He shows his skill in music. The king inquires into the state of
England, which the author relates to him. The king's
observations thereon.]
I used to attend the king's levee once or twice a week, and had
often seen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first
very terrible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as long
as an ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of
the country, was only shaved twice a-week. I once prevailed on
the barber to give me some of the suds or lather, out of which I
picked forty or fifty of the strongest stumps of hair. I then
took a piece of fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb,
making several holes in it at equal distances with as small a
needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the stumps
so artificially, scraping and sloping them with my knife toward
the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a
seasonable supply, my own being so much broken in the teeth, that
it was almost useless: neither did I know any artist in that
country so nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another.
And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many of
my leisure hours. I desired the queen's woman to save for me the
combings of her majesty's hair, whereof in time I got a good
quantity; and consulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who
had received general orders to do little jobs for me, I directed
him to make two chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my
box, and to bore little holes with a fine awl, round those parts
where I designed the backs and seats; through these holes I wove
the strongest hairs I could pick out, just after the manner of
cane chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a
present of them to her majesty; who kept them in her cabinet, and
used to show them for curiosities, as indeed they were the wonder
of every one that beheld them. The queen would have me sit upon
one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her,
protesting I would rather die than place a dishonourable part of
my body on those precious hairs, that once adorned her majesty's
head. Of these hairs (as I had always a mechanical genius) I
likewise made a neat little purse, about five feet long, with her
majesty's name deciphered in gold letters, which I gave to
Glumdalclitch, by the queen's consent. To say the truth, it was
more for show than use, being not of strength to bear the weight
of the larger coins, and therefore she kept nothing in it but
some little toys that girls are fond of.
The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court,
to which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to
hear them: but the noise was so great that I could hardly
distinguish the tunes. I am confident that all the drums and
trumpets of a royal army, beating and sounding together just at
your ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have my box
removed from the place where the performers sat, as far as I
could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and draw the
window curtains; after which I found their music not
disagreeable.
I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet.
Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended
twice a-week to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it
somewhat resembled that instrument, and was played upon in the
same manner. A fancy came into my head, that I would entertain
the king and queen with an English tune upon this instrument.
But this appeared extremely difficult: for the spinet was near
sixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide, so that with
my arms extended I could not reach to above five keys, and to
press them down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which
would be too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I
contrived was this: I prepared two round sticks, about the
bigness of common cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the
other, and I covered the thicker ends with pieces of a mouse's
skin, that by rapping on them I might neither damage the tops of
the keys nor interrupt the sound. Before the spinet a bench was
placed, about four feet below the keys, and I was put upon the
bench. I ran sideling upon it, that way and this, as fast as I
could, banging the proper keys with my two sticks, and made a
shift to play a jig, to the great satisfaction of both their
majesties; but it was the most violent exercise I ever underwent;
and yet I could not strike above sixteen keys, nor consequently
play the bass and treble together, as other artists do; which was
a great disadvantage to my performance.
The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent
understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in
my box, and set upon the table in his closet: he would then
command me to bring one of my chairs out of the box, and sit down
within three yards distance upon the top of the cabinet, which
brought me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I had
several conversations with him. I one day took the freedom to
tell his majesty, "that the contempt he discovered towards
Europe, and the rest of the world, did not seem answerable to
those excellent qualities of mind that he was master of; that
reason did not extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the
contrary, we observed in our country, that the tallest persons
were usually the least provided with it; that among other
animals, bees and ants had the reputation of more industry, art,
and sagacity, than many of the larger kinds; and that, as
inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to do
his majesty some signal service." The king heard me with
attention, and began to conceive a much better opinion of me than
he had ever before. He desired "I would give him as exact an
account of the government of England as I possibly could;
because, as fond as princes commonly are of their own customs
(for so he conjectured of other monarchs, by my former
discourses), he should be glad to hear of any thing that might
deserve imitation."
Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished
for the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled
me to celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a
style equal to its merits and felicity.
I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our dominions
consisted of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms,
under one sovereign, beside our plantations in America. I dwelt
long upon the fertility of our soil, and the temperature of our
climate. I then spoke at large upon the constitution of an
English parliament; partly made up of an illustrious body called
the House of Peers; persons of the noblest blood, and of the most
ancient and ample patrimonies. I described that extraordinary
care always taken of their education in arts and arms, to qualify
them for being counsellors both to the king and kingdom; to have
a share in the legislature; to be members of the highest court of
judicature, whence there can be no appeal; and to be champions
always ready for the defence of their prince and country, by
their valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the
ornament and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their
most renowned ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of
their virtue, from which their posterity were never once known to
degenerate. To these were joined several holy persons, as part
of that assembly, under the title of bishops, whose peculiar
business is to take care of religion, and of those who instruct
the people therein. These were searched and sought out through
the whole nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors, among
such of the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by
the sanctity of their lives, and the depth of their erudition;
who were indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the
people.
That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly
called the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen,
freely picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their
great abilities and love of their country, to represent the
wisdom of the whole nation. And that these two bodies made up
the most august assembly in Europe; to whom, in conjunction with
the prince, the whole legislature is committed.
I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges,
those venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for
determining the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as
for the punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I
mentioned the prudent management of our treasury; the valour and
achievements of our forces, by sea and land. I computed the
number of our people, by reckoning how many millions there might
be of each religious sect, or political party among us. I did
not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other particular
which I thought might redound to the honour of my country. And I
finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and
events in England for about a hundred years past.
This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of
several hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention,
frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums
of what questions he intended to ask me.
When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty, in a
sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts,
queries, and objections, upon every article. He asked, "What
methods were used to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young
nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the
first and teachable parts of their lives? What course was taken
to supply that assembly, when any noble family became extinct?
What qualifications were necessary in those who are to be created
new lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum of money to a
court lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to the
public interest, ever happened to be the motive in those
advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the laws
of their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them
to decide the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last
resort? Whether they were always so free from avarice,
partialities, or want, that a bribe, or some other sinister view,
could have no place among them? Whether those holy lords I spoke
of were always promoted to that rank upon account of their
knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity of their lives;
had never been compliers with the times, while they were common
priests; or slavish prostitute chaplains to some nobleman, whose
opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they were
admitted into that assembly?"
He then desired to know, "What arts were practised in electing
those whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong
purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before
their own landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the
neighbourhood? How it came to pass, that people were so
violently bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed
to be a great trouble and expense, often to the ruin of their
families, without any salary or pension? because this appeared
such an exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that his
majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere."
And he desired to know, "Whether such zealous gentlemen could
have any views of refunding themselves for the charges and
trouble they were at by sacrificing the public good to the
designs of a weak and vicious prince, in conjunction with a
corrupted ministry?" He multiplied his questions, and sifted me
thoroughly upon every part of this head, proposing numberless
inquiries and objections, which I think it not prudent or
convenient to repeat.
Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his
majesty desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I
was the better able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by
a long suit in chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He
asked, "What time was usually spent in determining between right
and wrong, and what degree of expense? Whether advocates and
orators had liberty to plead in causes manifestly known to be
unjust, vexatious, or oppressive? Whether party, in religion or
politics, were observed to be of any weight in the scale of
justice? Whether those pleading orators were persons educated in
the general knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national,
and other local customs? Whether they or their judges had any
part in penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of
interpreting, and glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they
had ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the same
cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether
they were a rich or a poor corporation? Whether they received
any pecuniary reward for pleading, or delivering their opinions?
And particularly, whether they were ever admitted as members in
the lower senate?"
He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, "he
thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at
about five or six millions a-year, and when I came to mention the
issues, he found they sometimes amounted to more than double; for
the notes he had taken were very particular in this point,
because he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge of our
conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be deceived in
his calculations. But, if what I told him were true, he was still
at a loss how a kingdom could run out of its estate, like a
private person." He asked me, "who were our creditors; and where
we found money to pay them?" He wondered to hear me talk of such
chargeable and expensive wars; "that certainly we must be a
quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that
our generals must needs be richer than our kings." He asked,
what business we had out of our own islands, unless upon the
score of trade, or treaty, or to defend the coasts with our
fleet?" Above all, he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary
standing army, in the midst of peace, and among a free people.
He said, "if we were governed by our own consent, in the persons
of our representatives, he could not imagine of whom we were
afraid, or against whom we were to fight; and would hear my
opinion, whether a private man's house might not be better
defended by himself, his children, and family, than by
half-a-dozen rascals, picked up at a venture in the streets for
small wages, who might get a hundred times more by cutting their
throats?"
He laughed at my "odd kind of arithmetic," as he was pleased to
call it, "in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a
computation drawn from the several sects among us, in religion
and politics." He said, "he knew no reason why those, who
entertain opinions prejudicial to the public, should be obliged
to change, or should not be obliged to conceal them. And as it
was tyranny in any government to require the first, so it was
weakness not to enforce the second: for a man may be allowed to
keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for
cordials."
He observed, "that among the diversions of our nobility and
gentry, I had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age
this entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid
down; how much of their time it employed; whether it ever went so
high as to affect their fortunes; whether mean, vicious people,
by their dexterity in that art, might not arrive at great riches,
and sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as
habituate them to vile companions, wholly take them from the
improvement of their minds, and force them, by the losses they
received, to learn and practise that infamous dexterity upon
others?"
He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him
of our affairs during the last century; protesting "it was only a
heap of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres,
revolutions, banishments, the very worst effects that avarice,
faction, hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness,
hatred, envy, lust, malice, and ambition, could produce."
His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to
recapitulate the sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions
he made with the answers I had given; then taking me into his
hands, and stroking me gently, delivered himself in these words,
which I shall never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: "My
little friend Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric
upon your country; you have clearly proved, that ignorance,
idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a
legislator; that laws are best explained, interpreted, and
applied, by those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting,
confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you some lines of
an institution, which, in its original, might have been
tolerable, but these half erased, and the rest wholly blurred and
blotted by corruptions. It does not appear, from all you have
said, how any one perfection is required toward the procurement
of any one station among you; much less, that men are ennobled on
account of their virtue; that priests are advanced for their
piety or learning; soldiers, for their conduct or valour; judges,
for their integrity; senators, for the love of their country; or
counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself," continued the
king, "who have spent the greatest part of your life in
travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have
escaped many vices of your country. But by what I have gathered
from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains
wrung and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of
your natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious
vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the
earth."
CHAPTER VII.
[The author's love of his country. He makes a proposal of much
advantage to the king, which is rejected. The king's great
ignorance in politics. The learning of that country very
imperfect and confined. The laws, and military affairs, and
parties in the state.]
Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me from
concealing this part of my story. It was in vain to discover my
resentments, which were always turned into ridicule; and I was
forced to rest with patience, while my noble and beloved country
was so injuriously treated. I am as heartily sorry as any of my
readers can possibly be, that such an occasion was given: but
this prince happened to be so curious and inquisitive upon every
particular, that it could not consist either with gratitude or
good manners, to refuse giving him what satisfaction I was able.
Yet thus much I may be allowed to say in my own vindication, that
I artfully eluded many of his questions, and gave to every point
a more favourable turn, by many degrees, than the strictness of
truth would allow. For I have always borne that laudable
partiality to my own country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis,
with so much justice, recommends to an historian: I would hide
the frailties and deformities of my political mother, and place
her virtues and beauties in the most advantageous light. This
was my sincere endeavour in those many discourses I had with that
monarch, although it unfortunately failed of success.
But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives wholly
secluded from the rest of the world, and must therefore be
altogether unacquainted with the manners and customs that most
prevail in other nations: the want of which knowledge will ever
produce many prejudices, and a certain narrowness of thinking,
from which we, and the politer countries of Europe, are wholly
exempted. And it would be hard indeed, if so remote a prince's
notions of virtue and vice were to be offered as a standard for
all mankind.
To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the
miserable effects of a confined education, I shall here insert a
passage, which will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate
myself further into his majesty's favour, I told him of "an
invention, discovered between three and four hundred years ago,
to make a certain powder, into a heap of which, the smallest
spark of fire falling, would kindle the whole in a moment,
although it were as big as a mountain, and make it all fly up in
the air together, with a noise and agitation greater than
thunder. That a proper quantity of this powder rammed into a
hollow tube of brass or iron, according to its bigness, would
drive a ball of iron or lead, with such violence and speed, as
nothing was able to sustain its force. That the largest balls
thus discharged, would not only destroy whole ranks of an army at
once, but batter the strongest walls to the ground, sink down
ships, with a thousand men in each, to the bottom of the sea, and
when linked together by a chain, would cut through masts and
rigging, divide hundreds of bodies in the middle, and lay all
waste before them. That we often put this powder into large
hollow balls of iron, and discharged them by an engine into some
city we were besieging, which would rip up the pavements, tear
the houses to pieces, burst and throw splinters on every side,
dashing out the brains of all who came near. That I knew the
ingredients very well, which were cheap and common; I understood
the manner of compounding them, and could direct his workmen how
to make those tubes, of a size proportionable to all other things
in his majesty's kingdom, and the largest need not be above a
hundred feet long; twenty or thirty of which tubes, charged with
the proper quantity of powder and balls, would batter down the
walls of the strongest town in his dominions in a few hours, or
destroy the whole metropolis, if ever it should pretend to
dispute his absolute commands." This I humbly offered to his
majesty, as a small tribute of acknowledgment, in turn for so
many marks that I had received, of his royal favour and
protection.
The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of
those terrible engines, and the proposal I had made. "He was
amazed, how so impotent and grovelling an insect as I" (these
were his expressions) "could entertain such inhuman ideas, and in
so familiar a manner, as to appear wholly unmoved at all the
scenes of blood and desolation which I had painted as the common
effects of those destructive machines; whereof," he said, "some
evil genius, enemy to mankind, must have been the first
contriver. As for himself, he protested, that although few
things delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in
nature, yet he would rather lose half his kingdom, than be privy
to such a secret; which he commanded me, as I valued any life,
never to mention any more."
A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a prince
possessed of every quality which procures veneration, love, and
esteem; of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning,
endowed with admirable talents, and almost adored by his
subjects, should, from a nice, unnecessary scruple, whereof in
Europe we can have no conception, let slip an opportunity put
into his hands that would have made him absolute master of the
lives, the liberties, and the fortunes of his people! Neither do
I say this, with the least intention to detract from the many
virtues of that excellent king, whose character, I am sensible,
will, on this account, be very much lessened in the opinion of an
English reader: but I take this defect among them to have risen
from their ignorance, by not having hitherto reduced politics
into a science, as the more acute wits of Europe have done. For,
I remember very well, in a discourse one day with the king, when
I happened to say, "there were several thousand books among us
written upon the art of government," it gave him (directly
contrary to my intention) a very mean opinion of our
understandings. He professed both to abominate and despise all
mystery, refinement, and intrigue, either in a prince or a
minister. He could not tell what I meant by secrets of state,
where an enemy, or some rival nation, were not in the case. He
confined the knowledge of governing within very narrow bounds, to
common sense and reason, to justice and lenity, to the speedy
determination of civil and criminal causes; with some other
obvious topics, which are not worth considering. And he gave it
for his opinion, "that whoever could make two ears of corn, or
two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one
grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more
essential service to his country, than the whole race of
politicians put together."
The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only in
morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be
allowed to excel. But the last of these is wholly applied to
what may be useful in life, to the improvement of agriculture,
and all mechanical arts; so that among us, it would be little
esteemed. And as to ideas, entities, abstractions, and
transcendentals, I could never drive the least conception into
their heads.
No law in that country must exceed in words the number of letters
in their alphabet, which consists only of two and twenty. But
indeed few of them extend even to that length. They are
expressed in the most plain and simple terms, wherein those
people are not mercurial enough to discover above one
interpretation: and to write a comment upon any law, is a
capital crime. As to the decision of civil causes, or
proceedings against criminals, their precedents are so few, that
they have little reason to boast of any extraordinary skill in
either.
They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time
out of mind: but their libraries are not very large; for that of
the king, which is reckoned the largest, does not amount to above
a thousand volumes, placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet
long, whence I had liberty to borrow what books I pleased. The
queen's joiner had contrived in one of Glumdalclitch's rooms, a
kind of wooden machine five-and-twenty feet high, formed like a
standing ladder; the steps were each fifty feet long. It was
indeed a moveable pair of stairs, the lowest end placed at ten
feet distance from the wall of the chamber. The book I had a
mind to read, was put up leaning against the wall: I first
mounted to the upper step of the ladder, and turning my face
towards the book, began at the top of the page, and so walking to
the right and left about eight or ten paces, according to the
length of the lines, till I had gotten a little below the level
of mine eyes, and then descending gradually till I came to the
bottom: after which I mounted again, and began the other page in
the same manner, and so turned over the leaf, which I could
easily do with both my hands, for it was as thick and stiff as a
pasteboard, and in the largest folios not above eighteen or
twenty feet long.
Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid; for
they avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or
using various expressions. I have perused many of their books,
especially those in history and morality. Among the rest, I was
much diverted with a little old treatise, which always lay in
Glumdalclitch's bed chamber, and belonged to her governess, a
grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in writings of morality and
devotion. The book treats of the weakness of human kind, and is
in little esteem, except among the women and the vulgar.
However, I was curious to see what an author of that country
could say upon such a subject. This writer went through all the
usual topics of European moralists, showing "how diminutive,
contemptible, and helpless an animal was man in his own nature;
how unable to defend himself from inclemencies of the air, or the
fury of wild beasts: how much he was excelled by one creature in
strength, by another in speed, by a third in foresight, by a
fourth in industry." He added, "that nature was degenerated in
these latter declining ages of the world, and could now produce
only small abortive births, in comparison of those in ancient
times." He said "it was very reasonable to think, not only that
the species of men were originally much larger, but also that
there must have been giants in former ages; which, as it is
asserted by history and tradition, so it has been confirmed by
huge bones and skulls, casually dug up in several parts of the
kingdom, far exceeding the common dwindled race of men in our
days." He argued, "that the very laws of nature absolutely
required we should have been made, in the beginning of a size
more large and robust; not so liable to destruction from every
little accident, of a tile falling from a house, or a stone cast
from the hand of a boy, or being drowned in a little brook."
From this way of reasoning, the author drew several moral
applications, useful in the conduct of life, but needless here to
repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid reflecting how
universally this talent was spread, of drawing lectures in
morality, or indeed rather matter of discontent and repining,
from the quarrels we raise with nature. And I believe, upon a
strict inquiry, those quarrels might be shown as ill-grounded
among us as they are among that people.
As to their military affairs, they boast that the king's army
consists of a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and
thirty-two thousand horse: if that may be called an army, which
is made up of tradesmen in the several cities, and farmers in the
country, whose commanders are only the nobility and gentry,
without pay or reward. They are indeed perfect enough in their
exercises, and under very good discipline, wherein I saw no great
merit; for how should it be otherwise, where every farmer is
under the command of his own landlord, and every citizen under
that of the principal men in his own city, chosen after the
manner of Venice, by ballot?
I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to
exercise, in a great field near the city of twenty miles square.
They were in all not above twenty-five thousand foot, and six
thousand horse; but it was impossible for me to compute their
number, considering the space of ground they took up. A
cavalier, mounted on a large steed, might be about ninety feet
high. I have seen this whole body of horse, upon a word of
command, draw their swords at once, and brandish them in the air.
Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so
astonishing! it looked as if ten thousand flashes of lightning
were darting at the same time from every quarter of the sky.
I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there
is no access from any other country, came to think of armies, or
to teach his people the practice of military discipline. But I
was soon informed, both by conversation and reading their
histories; for, in the course of many ages, they have been
troubled with the same disease to which the whole race of mankind
is subject; the nobility often contending for power, the people
for liberty, and the king for absolute dominion. All which,
however happily tempered by the laws of that kingdom, have been
sometimes violated by each of the three parties, and have more
than once occasioned civil wars; the last whereof was happily put
an end to by this prince's grand-father, in a general
composition; and the militia, then settled with common consent,
has been ever since kept in the strictest duty.
CHAPTER VIII.
[The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers. The author
attends them. The manner in which he leaves the country very
particularly related. He returns to England.]
I had always a strong impulse that I should some time recover my
liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture by what means, or
to form any project with the least hope of succeeding. The ship
in which I sailed, was the first ever known to be driven within
sight of that coast, and the king had given strict orders, that
if at any time another appeared, it should be taken ashore, and
with all its crew and passengers brought in a tumbril to
Lorbrulgrud. He was strongly bent to get me a woman of my own
size, by whom I might propagate the breed: but I think I should
rather have died than undergone the disgrace of leaving a
posterity to be kept in cages, like tame canary-birds, and
perhaps, in time, sold about the kingdom, to persons of quality,
for curiosities. I was indeed treated with much kindness: I was
the favourite of a great king and queen, and the delight of the
whole court; but it was upon such a foot as ill became the
dignity of humankind. I could never forget those domestic
pledges I had left behind me. I wanted to be among people, with
whom I could converse upon even terms, and walk about the streets
and fields without being afraid of being trod to death like a
frog or a young puppy. But my deliverance came sooner than I
expected, and in a manner not very common; the whole story and
circumstances of which I shall faithfully relate.
I had now been two years in this country; and about the beginning
of the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the king and queen, in
a progress to the south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as
usual, in my travelling-box, which as I have already described,
was a very convenient closet, of twelve feet wide. And I had
ordered a hammock to be fixed, by silken ropes from the four
corners at the top, to break the jolts, when a servant carried me
before him on horseback, as I sometimes desired; and would often
sleep in my hammock, while we were upon the road. On the roof of
my closet, not directly over the middle of the hammock, I ordered
the joiner to cut out a hole of a foot square, to give me air in
hot weather, as I slept; which hole I shut at pleasure with a
board that drew backward and forward through a groove.
When we came to our journey's end, the king thought proper to
pass a few days at a palace he has near Flanflasnic, a city
within eighteen English miles of the seaside. Glumdalclitch and
I were much fatigued: I had gotten a small cold, but the poor
girl was so ill as to be confined to her chamber. I longed to
see the ocean, which must be the only scene of my escape, if ever
it should happen. I pretended to be worse than I really was, and
desired leave to take the fresh air of the sea, with a page, whom
I was very fond of, and who had sometimes been trusted with me.
I shall never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch
consented, nor the strict charge she gave the page to be careful
of me, bursting at the same time into a flood of tears, as if she
had some forboding of what was to happen. The boy took me out in
my box, about half an hours walk from the palace, towards the
rocks on the seashore. I ordered him to set me down, and lifting
up one of my sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy look towards
the sea. I found myself not very well, and told the page that I
had a mind to take a nap in my hammock, which I hoped would do me
good. I got in, and the boy shut the window close down, to keep
out the cold. I soon fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is,
while I slept, the page, thinking no danger could happen, went
among the rocks to look for birds' eggs, having before observed
him from my window searching about, and picking up one or two in
the clefts. Be that as it will, I found myself suddenly awaked
with a violent pull upon the ring, which was fastened at the top
of my box for the conveniency of carriage. I felt my box raised
very high in the air, and then borne forward with prodigious
speed. The first jolt had like to have shaken me out of my
hammock, but afterward the motion was easy enough. I called out
several times, as loud as I could raise my voice, but all to no
purpose. I looked towards my windows, and could see nothing but
the clouds and sky. I heard a noise just over my head, like the
clapping of wings, and then began to perceive the woful condition
I was in; that some eagle had got the ring of my box in his beak,
with an intent to let it fall on a rock, like a tortoise in a
shell, and then pick out my body, and devour it: for the
sagacity and smell of this bird enables him to discover his
quarry at a great distance, though better concealed than I could
be within a two-inch board.
In a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings to
increase very fast, and my box was tossed up and down, like a
sign in a windy day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I
thought given to the eagle (for such I am certain it must have
been that held the ring of my box in his beak), and then, all on
a sudden, felt myself falling perpendicularly down, for above a
minute, but with such incredible swiftness, that I almost lost my
breath. My fall was stopped by a terrible squash, that sounded
louder to my ears than the cataract of Niagara; after which, I
was quite in the dark for another minute, and then my box began
to rise so high, that I could see light from the tops of the
windows. I now perceived I was fallen into the sea. My box, by
the weight of my body, the goods that were in, and the broad
plates of iron fixed for strength at the four corners of the top
and bottom, floated about five feet deep in water. I did then,
and do now suppose, that the eagle which flew away with my box
was pursued by two or three others, and forced to let me drop,
while he defended himself against the rest, who hoped to share in
the prey. The plates of iron fastened at the bottom of the box
(for those were the strongest) preserved the balance while it
fell, and hindered it from being broken on the surface of the
water. Every joint of it was well grooved; and the door did not
move on hinges, but up and down like a sash, which kept my closet
so tight that very little water came in. I got with much
difficulty out of my hammock, having first ventured to draw back
the slip-board on the roof already mentioned, contrived on
purpose to let in air, for want of which I found myself almost
stifled.
How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch, from
whom one single hour had so far divided me! And I may say with
truth, that in the midst of my own misfortunes I could not
forbear lamenting my poor nurse, the grief she would suffer for
my loss, the displeasure of the queen, and the ruin of her
fortune. Perhaps many travellers have not been under greater
difficulties and distress than I was at this juncture, expecting
every moment to see my box dashed to pieces, or at least overset
by the first violent blast, or rising wave. A breach in one
single pane of glass would have been immediate death: nor could
any thing have preserved the windows, but the strong lattice
wires placed on the outside, against accidents in travelling. I
saw the water ooze in at several crannies, although the leaks
were not considerable, and I endeavoured to stop them as well as
I could. I was not able to lift up the roof of my closet, which
otherwise I certainly should have done, and sat on the top of it;
where I might at least preserve myself some hours longer, than by
being shut up (as I may call it) in the hold. Or if I escaped
these dangers for a day or two, what could I expect but a
miserable death of cold and hunger? I was four hours under these
circumstances, expecting, and indeed wishing, every moment to be
my last.
I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples
fixed upon that side of my box which had no window, and into
which the servant, who used to carry me on horseback, would put a
leathern belt, and buckle it about his waist. Being in this
disconsolate state, I heard, or at least thought I heard, some
kind of grating noise on that side of my box where the staples
were fixed; and soon after I began to fancy that the box was
pulled or towed along the sea; for I now and then felt a sort of
tugging, which made the waves rise near the tops of my windows,
leaving me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint hopes of
relief, although I was not able to imagine how it could be
brought about. I ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were
always fastened to the floor; and having made a hard shift to
screw it down again, directly under the slipping-board that I had
lately opened, I mounted on the chair, and putting my mouth as
near as I could to the hole, I called for help in a loud voice,
and in all the languages I understood. I then fastened my
handkerchief to a stick I usually carried, and thrusting it up
the hole, waved it several times in the air, that if any boat or
ship were near, the seamen might conjecture some unhappy mortal
to be shut up in the box.
I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my
closet to be moved along; and in the space of an hour, or better,
that side of the box where the staples were, and had no windows,
struck against something that was hard. I apprehended it to be a
rock, and found myself tossed more than ever. I plainly heard a
noise upon the cover of my closet, like that of a cable, and the
grating of it as it passed through the ring. I then found myself
hoisted up, by degrees, at least three feet higher than I was
before. Whereupon I again thrust up my stick and handkerchief,
calling for help till I was almost hoarse. In return to which, I
heard a great shout repeated three times, giving me such
transports of joy as are not to be conceived but by those who
feel them. I now heard a trampling over my head, and somebody
calling through the hole with a loud voice, in the English
tongue, "If there be any body below, let them speak." I
answered, "I was an Englishman, drawn by ill fortune into the
greatest calamity that ever any creature underwent, and begged,
by all that was moving, to be delivered out of the dungeon I was
in." The voice replied, "I was safe, for my box was fastened to
their ship; and the carpenter should immediately come and saw a
hole in the cover, large enough to pull me out." I answered,
"that was needless, and would take up too much time; for there
was no more to be done, but let one of the crew put his finger
into the ring, and take the box out of the sea into the ship, and
so into the captain's cabin." Some of them, upon hearing me talk
so wildly, thought I was mad: others laughed; for indeed it
never came into my head, that I was now got among people of my
own stature and strength. The carpenter came, and in a few
minutes sawed a passage about four feet square, then let down a
small ladder, upon which I mounted, and thence was taken into the
ship in a very weak condition.
The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand
questions, which I had no inclination to answer. I was equally
confounded at the sight of so many pigmies, for such I took them
to be, after having so long accustomed mine eyes to the monstrous
objects I had left. But the captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an
honest worthy Shropshire man, observing I was ready to faint,
took me into his cabin, gave me a cordial to comfort me, and made
me turn in upon his own bed, advising me to take a little rest,
of which I had great need. Before I went to sleep, I gave him to
understand that I had some valuable furniture in my box, too good
to be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome field-bed, two chairs, a
table, and a cabinet; that my closet was hung on all sides, or
rather quilted, with silk and cotton; that if he would let one of
the crew bring my closet into his cabin, I would open it there
before him, and show him my goods. The captain, hearing me utter
these absurdities, concluded I was raving; however (I suppose to
pacify me) he promised to give order as I desired, and going upon
deck, sent some of his men down into my closet, whence (as I
afterwards found) they drew up all my goods, and stripped off the
quilting; but the chairs, cabinet, and bedstead, being screwed to
the floor, were much damaged by the ignorance of the seamen, who
tore them up by force. Then they knocked off some of the boards
for the use of the ship, and when they had got all they had a
mind for, let the hull drop into the sea, which by reason of many
breaches made in the bottom and sides, sunk to rights. And,
indeed, I was glad not to have been a spectator of the havoc they
made, because I am confident it would have sensibly touched me,
by bringing former passages into my mind, which I would rather
have forgot.
I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the
place I had left, and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon
waking, I found myself much recovered. It was now about eight
o'clock at night, and the captain ordered supper immediately,
thinking I had already fasted too long. He entertained me with
great kindness, observing me not to look wildly, or talk
inconsistently: and, when we were left alone, desired I would
give him a relation of my travels, and by what accident I came to
be set adrift, in that monstrous wooden chest. He said "that
about twelve o'clock at noon, as he was looking through his
glass, he spied it at a distance, and thought it was a sail,
which he had a mind to make, being not much out of his course, in
hopes of buying some biscuit, his own beginning to fall short.
That upon coming nearer, and finding his error, he sent out his
long-boat to discover what it was; that his men came back in a
fright, swearing they had seen a swimming house. That he laughed
at their folly, and went himself in the boat, ordering his men to
take a strong cable along with them. That the weather being
calm, he rowed round me several times, observed my windows and
wire lattices that defended them. That he discovered two staples
upon one side, which was all of boards, without any passage for
light. He then commanded his men to row up to that side, and
fastening a cable to one of the staples, ordered them to tow my
chest, as they called it, toward the ship. When it was there, he
gave directions to fasten another cable to the ring fixed in the
cover, and to raise up my chest with pulleys, which all the
sailors were not able to do above two or three feet." He said,
"they saw my stick and handkerchief thrust out of the hole, and
concluded that some unhappy man must be shut up in the cavity."
I asked, "whether he or the crew had seen any prodigious birds in
the air, about the time he first discovered me." To which he
answered, that discoursing this matter with the sailors while I
was asleep, one of them said, he had observed three eagles flying
towards the north, but remarked nothing of their being larger
than the usual size:" which I suppose must be imputed to the
great height they were at; and he could not guess the reason of
my question. I then asked the captain, "how far he reckoned we
might be from land?" He said, "by the best computation he could
make, we were at least a hundred leagues." I assured him, "that
he must be mistaken by almost half, for I had not left the
country whence I came above two hours before I dropped into the
sea." Whereupon he began again to think that my brain was
disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and advised me to go to
bed in a cabin he had provided. I assured him, "I was well
refreshed with his good entertainment and company, and as much in
my senses as ever I was in my life." He then grew serious, and
desired to ask me freely, "whether I were not troubled in my mind
by the consciousness of some enormous crime, for which I was
punished, at the command of some prince, by exposing me in that
chest; as great criminals, in other countries, have been forced
to sea in a leaky vessel, without provisions: for although he
should be sorry to have taken so ill a man into his ship, yet he
would engage his word to set me safe ashore, in the first port
where we arrived." He added, "that his suspicions were much
increased by some very absurd speeches I had delivered at first
to his sailors, and afterwards to himself, in relation to my
closet or chest, as well as by my odd looks and behaviour while I
was at supper."
I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I
faithfully did, from the last time I left England, to the moment
he first discovered me. And, as truth always forces its way into
rational minds, so this honest worthy gentleman, who had some
tincture of learning, and very good sense, was immediately
convinced of my candour and veracity. But further to confirm all
I had said, I entreated him to give order that my cabinet should
be brought, of which I had the key in my pocket; for he had
already informed me how the seamen disposed of my closet. I
opened it in his own presence, and showed him the small
collection of rarities I made in the country from which I had
been so strangely delivered. There was the comb I had contrived
out of the stumps of the king's beard, and another of the same
materials, but fixed into a paring of her majesty's thumb-nail,
which served for the back. There was a collection of needles and
pins, from a foot to half a yard long; four wasp stings, like
joiner's tacks; some combings of the queen's hair; a gold ring,
which one day she made me a present of, in a most obliging
manner, taking it from her little finger, and throwing it over my
head like a collar. I desired the captain would please to accept
this ring in return for his civilities; which he absolutely
refused. I showed him a corn that I had cut off with my own
hand, from a maid of honour's toe; it was about the bigness of
Kentish pippin, and grown so hard, that when I returned England,
I got it hollowed into a cup, and set in silver. Lastly, I
desired him to see the breeches I had then on, which were made of
a mouse's skin.
I could force nothing on him but a footman's tooth, which I
observed him to examine with great curiosity, and found he had a
fancy for it. He received it with abundance of thanks, more than
such a trifle could deserve. It was drawn by an unskilful
surgeon, in a mistake, from one of Glumdalclitch's men, who was
afflicted with the tooth-ache, but it was as sound as any in his
head. I got it cleaned, and put it into my cabinet. It was
about a foot long, and four inches in diameter.
The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I
had given him, and said, "he hoped, when we returned to England,
I would oblige the world by putting it on paper, and making it
public." My answer was, "that we were overstocked with books of
travels: that nothing could now pass which was not
extraordinary; wherein I doubted some authors less consulted
truth, than their own vanity, or interest, or the diversion of
ignorant readers; that my story could contain little beside
common events, without those ornamental descriptions of strange
plants, trees, birds, and other animals; or of the barbarous
customs and idolatry of savage people, with which most writers
abound. However, I thanked him for his good opinion, and
promised to take the matter into my thoughts."
He said "he wondered at one thing very much, which was, to hear
me speak so loud;" asking me "whether the king or queen of that
country were thick of hearing?" I told him, "it was what I had
been used to for above two years past, and that I admired as much
at the voices of him and his men, who seemed to me only to
whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. But, when I
spoke in that country, it was like a man talking in the streets,
to another looking out from the top of a steeple, unless when I
was placed on a table, or held in any person's hand." I told
him, "I had likewise observed another thing, that, when I first
got into the ship, and the sailors stood all about me, I thought
they were the most little contemptible creatures I had ever
beheld." For indeed, while I was in that prince's country, I
could never endure to look in a glass, after mine eyes had been
accustomed to such prodigious objects, because the comparison
gave me so despicable a conceit of myself. The captain said,
"that while we were at supper, he observed me to look at every
thing with a sort of wonder, and that I often seemed hardly able
to contain my laughter, which he knew not well how to take, but
imputed it to some disorder in my brain." I answered, "it was
very true; and I wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his
dishes of the size of a silver three-pence, a leg of pork hardly
a mouthful, a cup not so big as a nut-shell;" and so I went on,
describing the rest of his household-stuff and provisions, after
the same manner. For, although he queen had ordered a little
equipage of all things necessary for me, while I was in her
service, yet my ideas were wholly taken up with what I saw on
every side of me, and I winked at my own littleness, as people do
at their own faults. The captain understood my raillery very
well, and merrily replied with the old English proverb, "that he
doubted mine eyes were bigger than my belly, for he did not
observe my stomach so good, although I had fasted all day;" and,
continuing in his mirth, protested "he would have gladly given a
hundred pounds, to have seen my closet in the eagle's bill, and
afterwards in its fall from so great a height into the sea; which
would certainly have been a most astonishing object, worthy to
have the description of it transmitted to future ages:" and the
comparison of Phaeton was so obvious, that he could not forbear
applying it, although I did not much admire the conceit.
The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to
England, driven north-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees, and
longitude of 143. But meeting a trade-wind two days after I came
on board him, we sailed southward a long time, and coasting New
Holland, kept our course west-south-west, and then
south-south-west, till we doubled the Cape of Good Hope. Our
voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not trouble the reader
with a journal of it. The captain called in at one or two ports,
and sent in his long-boat for provisions and fresh water; but I
never went out of the ship till we came into the Downs, which was
on the third day of June, 1706, about nine months after my
escape. I offered to leave my goods in security for payment of
my freight: but the captain protested he would not receive one
farthing. We took a kind leave of each other, and I made him
promise he would come to see me at my house in Redriff. I hired
a horse and guide for five shillings, which I borrowed of the
captain.
As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the
trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in
Lilliput. I was afraid of trampling on every traveller I met,
and often called aloud to have them stand out of the way, so that
I had like to have gotten one or two broken heads for my
impertinence.
When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire,
one of the servants opening the door, I bent down to go in, (like
a goose under a gate,) for fear of striking my head. My wife run
out to embrace me, but I stooped lower than her knees, thinking
she could otherwise never be able to reach my mouth. My daughter
kneeled to ask my blessing, but I could not see her till she
arose, having been so long used to stand with my head and eyes
erect to above sixty feet; and then I went to take her up with
one hand by the waist. I looked down upon the servants, and one
or two friends who were in the house, as if they had been pigmies
and I a giant. I told my wife, "she had been too thrifty, for I
found she had starved herself and her daughter to nothing." In
short, I behaved myself so unaccountably, that they were all of
the captain's opinion when he first saw me, and concluded I had
lost my wits. This I mention as an instance of the great power of
habit and prejudice.
In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right
understanding: but my wife protested "I should never go to sea
any more;" although my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not
power to hinder me, as the reader may know hereafter. In the
mean time, I here conclude the second part of my unfortunate
voyages.